All right, sports buffs , let’s play some esoteric trivia . But put away your Guinness Book of World Records and your soggy , old sports dictionaries because this quiz as the man says is a real “tour of the court .” Twenty questions. Ready? What is a “tour of the court .?” How many of you know what a ” Brumfield Car – bon Swinger” is? Who eats “Cosmic Munchies,” and what are they anyway? What ‘s a ” Z-ball ” and why? Who is “The Gar?” What’s the difference between a ” freak ball” and a “tweak ball? ” What’s a “photon? ” Where is The Court House and what , by God , goes on there? Let’s hold off a bit on the next bunch . Because if you know the answer to one or two, okay , even three of these stumpers, then chances are you are either Charlie Brumfield, Steve Keeley or Charlie Garfinkel, three of the top racquet – ball players in the country, or else you are a bonafide freak. On the other hand, you might ask, what in heaven’s name is ? Well , it is one of the fastest growing indoor sports in America. Last year over a quarter of a million racquets (Many of them ” Brumfield swingers ” ) crossed the counters in sporting good outfits around this country . What accounts for the sport ‘s sudden popularity and prominence? Is this the recreation lobby’s lastest hula-hoop or frisbee? Well, maybe not , because indica – tions are that could be to the seventies what surfing was to the fifties and skiing to the sixties . color, and charisma of their own . 30

A four-wall game , this offshoot of handball , squash , and paddleball might even have more staying power and eventually involve more part icipants and fans than surfing or skiing . For unlike those sports , is the kind of recreational game that, with some practice and patience , anyone can learn to play , and play well . As National Club , Inc. and U.S. Handball Association President Bob Kendler exuberantly exclaims : “I tell you that is absolutely exploding all over the United States and , as a result , courts are spr inging up ; and when we finally get national exposure , it ‘ll be only a matter of time before this sport becomes the favorite indoor sport in America . It is fast, a great cond i tioner and everyone-men women and kids-can play it. And believe me , in one word, this game is fun. That ‘s what sells it, that’s why it’s gonna go .” Recreation and fun , however , comprise only one aspect of the game ‘s appeal. As in any sport , those athletes who are at the top of the game play it with grace and artistry , skill and precision . And because is becoming so popular, fans and players alike are in the process of creating for the sport an appropriate mythos, complete with culture heroes, legends and apocrypha . While none of the top ranking players is yet as well known as say, Jean Claude Killy or the Palmers and Nicklauses , Lavers and Kings who are the darlings of the links and courts , ‘s top notchers are not without class ,

Every sport has its legendary figures , its ” old guarde ” and in that distinct ion belongs to San Diego dentist, Dr. Bud Muehleisen. Once its premier player (he was fi rst Nat ional Open Singles Champ in 1969 ), because of this experience , poise , and thorough understand ing of the game Mueh – leisen , at 41 , can still give most of the younger com ers a run for their money . In fact , has has already played to highly publicized ” Hands against the Racquet ” matches with handball’s legendary profligate and perpetual nat ional champion , Paul Haber (Sports Illustrated , Feb. 7, 1972.) . Haber won the first match and the good dent ist the second . But instead of competing as regularly as he used to, Mehleisen now pre- , fers to concentrate on publicizing his sport . The veteran Muehleisen is not even the best or most outspoken exponent of his sport . That celebrity is 24 year-old San Diego law student , Charlie Brumfield . Most insiders consider Charlie , to be not only the game ‘s most audacious personality , but also presently unbeatable. Unbeatable? Hell, you say, no one is unbeatable in any sport, right? Not exactly . Though you can ‘t fully compare Brumfield ‘s string of victories to that of the Miami Dolphins, Charlie has managed to win all of the major tournaments in the past year . And down there on the narrow , tight courts (20 ‘ x 20′ x 40’), where you jockey for position and smell each other’s sweat, you go both ways ; no coach, no trainer, no Manny, Nick or Jake to spell you. So , to be unbeatable in raquetball , you need skill, staRACOUETBALL

mina, and as fellow-racquetballer Steve Keeley says , “you got to have that grey matter moving all the time .” Which Charlie Brumfield does . Describing his own game, Brumfield recently gave this , frank evaluation . “Now that I’ve learned to adapt to various situations , I’m probably the brightest ‘court general’ in the game today. I excel in thinking. I make so few mental errors that my opponent has to hit 21 kill shots against me to win. I don ‘t think there ‘s anyone in the country who can do that. If my opponent is not ‘on ‘ then he ‘s going to get “my tour of the court .” If he has a good day he might get 12 to 15 points .” The “Tour” is the patronizing tag Brum field uses to describe the way in which he can exhaust an opponent as he moves him left, then right, to the front court , then to the backcourt – all over the place . “That ‘s where I show my opponents the facilities of the court ,” Charlie boasts. Sixteen top-ranked players are chosen annually to participate in a top-16 Singles tournament. ‘s showcase event, this year ‘s top-16 was held during the Christmas season at the newly erected Court House , a magnificent -paddleball-handball complex in Minneapolis , Minnesota. The facility , one of several burgeoning around the country in cities like San Diego, St. Lou is, Chicago, and Louisville, is the brainchild of local investment counselor , Dick Lurie and attorney Malin Greenberg . Inspired by the increasing popularity of , Lurie and Greenberg modelled the National Open that you could find all Court House after some of the impressive private clubs out West, notably the posh layout of a Newport Beach , California kiosk, known for its eucalyptus, massage and infrared rooms. As the sport expands, they plan to build sister facilities in places like Atlanta , Denver and Houston. In fact, their long-range prospectus is to break ground for court clubs in almost every N.F.L . city, hopefully by 1976. The reasons? is fast catching on as a conditioner for profession a I athletes, especially because it helps develop quickness, agility and stamina. Among those Twin Cities athletes and coaches, for example, who have actually

invested in the Court House and who work out there regularly are : Rich Reese (now of the Tigers) and Jim Kaat of the Twins ; Barry Gibbs, Bill Goldsworthy, Murry Oliver , and Lou Nanne of the North Stars; Bill Brown and Dave Osborne, as well as General Manager Jim Finks and head coach Bud Grant of the Vikings . So-what better showcase for the top-16? Along with national champion Brumfield , who regards himself as a non-athlete, some impos ing exprofessional and college jocks in the top 16 . Among them a re: Ron Rubenstein , who played collegiate basketball at Louisville a decade ago and the n hooked up with a team wh ich toured as cannon fodder for the Harlem Globetrotters ; Charlie Garfinkel another ex-roundba ller from Buffalo State , and Ken Porco, who played his professional football in Canada. Some of the less publicized amateurs among the creme de la creme include: 1971 and 1973 national paddleball champion, Steve Keeley , a kinky, young, veterinarian , Steve Serot who at 17 is the tour ‘s youngest member: Mike Zeitman from Louisvi lie who, together with Porco , won the National Doubles title in 1971; and Pau l Lawrence , the veteran from Ann Arbor , Mich igan and winner of the National paddleball title in 1969 . Many of the top sixteen regularly make the circuit competing in open and invitational tournaments al l around the U.S . and Canada . But until the new N.R.C. pro-am tour it was only here at this top-16 singles and later at the of these “bums” in the same place. In light of Brumfield ‘s big-game streak, the Minneapolis tournament had been billed half -jokingly as the ” Brumfield Invitational. ” But trucking to the frozen north from places as distant and divergent as Buffalo , St. Louis , San Diego, and, for God’s sake , East Lansing and Ann Arbor , Michigan , the top seeds didn ‘t make the trip just to tuck in for Charlie’s celebrated “tour of the court .” Still , don’t get the idea that all these guys are grim, determined pros or that, eccentric and brash as he is, Brumfield is the only zany in this touring group of racquet rascals. Several of them can match ” the Brum ” not only in various court skills

and precIsIon but also in individuality . Seems draws these kinds of tutti-fruittis. Take, for example , number two ranked singles star, Ronnie Rubenstein . Described by National Club’s former National Director, Chuck Leve, as ‘s ” natural athlete ,” this ex-All-City Chicago cager of the 1950’s took up the sport four years ago. After having played some ser ious tennis, he found a faster game and although he has never quite made it to the top yet, at 34, Ruby is invariably among the big eight in the game . A well-to-do real-estate man in Chicago who spends spare time in the southern sunsh ine, Ruby loves to jet to tourneys looking like a litchi-nut. In fact, as Leve observed : “Ronnie never shows up at a major tournament without a tan. ” Litchi-tan, brown velvet bells and all, Rubenste in seems to warm the cockles of his cohorts’ hearts . “I’d say he ‘s the most well-liked guy on the tour,” Keeley points out , and Leve adds : “Believe me, he ‘s got it but he doesn ‘t flaunt it. Everyone digs Ruby. ” Keeley shooting against Brumf ield. The pros are here. 31

For all his poise , dapper manners , and savoir-faire , Rubenstein, also has a flair for the whacky . The favorite Rubenstein story comes from ‘s notorious, spaghetti -haired raconteur , Steve Keeley : “Ruby hates my game but he likes my hairdo , so he got himself a permanent . And instead of pay ing for it, I guess the person who gave it to him was a rac quetball buff , so he traded one of the racquets he doesn ‘t use for his permanen t. He thinks it goes great with his tan .” ldiosyncracies aside , when he gets on the court , Rubenstein is a ll business . He was ranked number two beh ind Brumfield for ove r a year and he showed up in Minneapolis , as he put it, ” to collect Brumfield ‘s button s .” Another colorful contender for Brumfield ‘s title is the slapstick , non – stop confabulator from Buffalo , New York, Charlie Garf inkel. Charl ie has the kind of dig and hustle , beardown game which , when on , can blow anyone off the court . The high point in Garfinkel’s career occurred two yea rs ago in the Nationals at Salt Lake City , where ” the Gar” napooed Brumfield in the round of sixteen . “I cleaned his clock , baby . I cleaned his clock! ,” Garfinkel is fond of recalling. His own best P.R. man, “the Gar ,” who in mock -modesty refers to himself as “the graceful one ,” never tires of recounting his exploits on and off the court . Unlike Brumfield who talks to his opponen ts all the time, trying to psych them , Garfinkel is a marathon tal k er who has developed an interesting habit of keeping up a runn ing conversation with himself during a match. Constantly he chatte r s analyzing small mistakes i n h is game : C ‘mon , Charlie , hit that ball , HIT it! ” . .. ” You ‘re standing around , Jesus! ” … ” That’s the easiest shot in ! C ‘mon now Charlie , DIG , DIG! ” Standing 6 ‘6″ and roaming the box-l ike playing area like a giant tarantula , Cha rlie is credited with having invented the ” Garfinkel serve “‘ which if placed just right , gives his opponents fits. The shot has been so successful that it is now an indispensable part of everyone ‘s game. Because he lacks consistency, Garfinkel is often the dark horse in major tournaments . This doesn’t 32

bother him though ; proudly he incorporates it into his strategy . ” I don ‘t mind be ing the underdog. In fact , I’m working on a new shot by the same name . I see it working this way : game and match point , I serve the underdog , it comes off the back wall growling and bites Brumfield ‘s backside . I win be infectio n!” Mike Zeitman is affect iona tely called ” Super Jew ” because of his flamboyant , reckless sty le of play ; he ‘ll dig for every t hing , dive into corners , scramble on his rasberries . Ze itman has a spectacula r, often Barnumesque , yet very inconsistent game . But , because of his intensity he might put it all together , as they say , any time . No rundown of racquetballers is complete without mention of it ‘s ” Country Bumpkin ,” ” Boy Wonder ,” and “Superflake. ” He is Bill Schmidtke , who was recruited out of a Pt. Edwards , Wisc . YMCA by Lurie and Greenberg to manage the Court House , is also the number four ranked singles player in the country. Recognized as the Gomer Pyle , the easygoing hayseed of the circuit, Bill admits to feel ing lost in

Sc hmidtke hits d esperate ly into back wa ll against Rubens tein. The Coun try Bu mpkin versus Mr. Tan. cities with popul ations ove r a thousand . National Open Singles champ in 1971 , Schmidtke has an inter esting histo ry of feeling sick before big tournaments . Some of t he mo r e symp athe tic fai thful bel ieve it’s all psycho log ical while fellow playe rs , who have listened, amused , to Bill complain about his ailments , only to get wh ipped by him later, be lieve tha t well , mayb e, just maybe ” Wil d Bill” ain ‘t the rube after all. It is a well-known fact that when sleepy or drunk , Schmidtk e can spell ou t the wo rk ” sandbag ” without missing a letter . Then there ‘s Steve Serot , ” Boy Wonder. ” At all of 17 this St. Louis , Missour i high school student is already a vete ran on any kind of one , two, or four-wall court. Known for his ability to cons istently produce devea tating , power-kills (” photons ” ), he can move even the more

physical players cr ing ing to the side walls, hoping to avoid collision with the ball . Where did the kid with acne and braces sti ll on his teeth ever find the ” photon ” tou ch? How di d he learn to blast like that ? Serot ex – plains. “My dad used to play handball about 9 -10 year s ago at the JCCA in St . Louis . He used to play about 5 days a week and I used to go there and wat ch him and take a handball and hit it aga inst the wall all the time . About 9 year s ago , I took a wooden racquet on the squash courts and began playing every day . About 3 year s later , I used to play 6-7 hour s a da y . I j ust played and played . From then on, I sorta beat all the men there, All the Class B Play ers .” This kind of background and dedication has produ ce d one of th e purest ” shooters ” in the game . Serot’s kill shots have been var iously descr ibed as ” dynamit e ,” ” speed of light ,” and ” pure w ind. ” “Serot is super ,” says Ga rfinke l, “they had to move the w all b ack 3 feet in St. Louis for him .” At 17, Steve has had adjustments to make while spending more and more time on the road involved in the unique world of . “I remember my first tournam ent in Tulsa, Oklahoma . When I walked on

the court , all the men just laughed . They said: “porky little kid ” and stuff like that but I just sorta laughed too and my doubles partner Biron Valier and I won 21-0 , 21-0. The guys were so embarrassed , they didn ‘t come back that day .” And s ince mos t kids his age are t ied to home and school , Steve lives a totally diffe re nt existence t han h is peers . “Mo s t kid s I know , 14, 15, 16, they don ‘t travel at all . I ‘ve traveled around the country to almost ever y c ity to play . It’s funny , all my friends are men . My younger friends act a little d ifferent and its really strange .” One of the most inter est ing and auth entic of this rogue ‘s gallery is 23 – y e a r old Steve Ke el ey. The epitome of the ” Bum ,” K ee ley ‘ s t rademark is th e large unco mbed bush of natu rally golden ringlets on his head . His curls may b e all tha t he owns , however , because Keeley rarely shows up for tournaments w ith a coat or even an extra pair of socks. It surprised no one when he arr ived in Minnesota on a weekend when the wind-chill factor plunged to 30 be low, wearing ju st a flannel shirt, jeans and add idases . ” I don’t like to wear coats much . Coats keep you warm ,” Keeley explained, as if coats weren’t really supposed to do that. Because of his somewha t rococo approach to life , he has become known as the game ‘s Jack Pudd ing , it’s superflake and token freak . Even if all the corn isn ‘t on Keeley ‘s cob, about every knowledgeab le fan who he is, neverthe less , a true original. One of his more conserva ti ve adventures was whe n, severa l years ago , on the day be fore New Year ‘s Eve , he packed a lunch of fruit and a bag o f ” Cosmic Munch ies, ” his own screwball mixture of soybean nuts , cashews , rice – krispies and who knows what else, and walked 40 miles from his hometown , Jackson , Michigan to East Lansing . Picture, if you will , Keeley , on his way out of Jackson : he ‘s wearing black rubbers over his sneakers, bell -bottom dungarees , a Steve Serot about to hit a forehand to the ce iling . “My younger friends act a little different. ”

… transistor radio dangling from the tie -str ing on his par ka, his mother ‘s red m ittens , red-stocking cap, a knapsack on his back and large, green shades to shield the sun glaring off the snow . And follow ing him all through town , star ing in puzzled amazement , st ray dogs . Keeley’s clear , blue eyes sparkle with haphaza rd daff iness when he t a l ks abut his n ext projec t. Somet ime this year , he is going to pack his gear , get on a 10-speed bike and journey from San Diego (he ‘s j ust moved ou t there where he can practice with the best: Brumfie ld , Mueh leisen and Char lie Drake) to East Lans ing , stopping along the way in places like Salt Lake City , Fargo , North Dakota , St. Louis , a nd Ch icago , where he knows he can pick up a game and a free meal. When rational skept ics asked him : “Why ?,” Kee ley , like Yossarian in Catch-22 , retorted: ” Why not? ” No one has bothe red to ask him the sam e question tw ice. But don ‘t get the notion tha t Keeley is just some spaced-out, oddball , hipp ie . A l ittle baroque , maybe . Nevertheless, he is a superbly cond itioned and talen ted athlete. Whose faul t is it that his idea of a training program is to run a mile to the neighborhood bar , have a beer , say hello to pals and then run righ t back to his room? At least he has a training program. Keeley also has an impress ive repe rto ire of shots and his game is com ing fas t: jus t follows this sport feels that once he beg ins to play reg ularly, Steve w ill eve ntua lly be the heir apparent to his buddy Brumfie ld’s title . If th is does indee d come to pass , it w ill be som ething of an ironic justifica tion , for Keeley himse lf is probab ly more responsib le than anyone else for Charlie ‘s sudden rise to the top of his sport. For two years prev ious to the 1972 Nationals , Brumfield was the most highly regarded younger player in the game. He was an overwhleming favorite to win all the big ones in 1970 and 1971 but , like Mark Spitz in Mexico Ct iy, he just couldn ‘t get his thing toge ther and somehow managed to disappoint in the big tourneys . As Chuck Leve reca lls : “In Salt Lake City, all we heard was watch Brumfield , wa tch Brum field , he ‘s gonna win it all but then was knocked out by G~rfinkel in the round of 16. He was 33

a name but he had never won it . He should have won it the first year, he should have won it the second year , and supposedly , he should have won it the third year when Schmidtke won it . Well, what can a guy do? He can’t go on being a hot-dog if he has noth ing to be a hot-dog about . He went to East Lansing that summer and played with Keeley until he got his game down and kind of calmed down for a year and just concentrated on the “. After the Salt Lake City match , in obvious disappointment and frustration, Brumfield vowed that he’d “never play singles again. I’m sticking to doubles from now on. ” It didn’t take long for him to change his mind, however, for that summer he journied from San Diego to East Lansing and moved in with Keeley , who, at the time , was sharing a house with , naturally , the ” Woolies, ” a popular Michigan rock group . All that summer , Charlie and Steve practiced on the Michigan State University Intramural courts for 5 hours a day, every day. Brumfield spent hours hitting each shot in his repertoire several hundred times , until he had his game down. It was that summer which really marked a turning point in Brumfield ‘s career. Not having realized his potent ial in the past , he had compensated by becoming a crowd pleaser, a hot dog. Fondly recalling Brumfield ‘s old antics , Keeley recounts : “Before he got his game together , Charlie used to be my hero . He was so colorful and outrageous. His game was based on what you might call the “psych factor.” He ‘d do anything to intimidate you, throw your timing off, distract you . The first time I ever played Charlie in the 1971 paddleball nationals he showed up late for the match and when he came onto the court he was wearing a clerk ‘s visor, black high top tennis shoes-which he called his “black wheels, ” and his paddle had a Superman emblem on it. All during the game, he kept talking to the crowd, saying things like “what time is my next match” and ” get my lunch ready , ” and every so often after I’d hit a good shot, he’d say to me ‘You’re swinging a little funny at the ball ‘ or ‘Look out for that slippery spot’ or, If I’d roll one off, he ‘d say : “How’d you do that? After a 34

while, I started asking myself : ‘How did I do that?’ and it would begin to screw up my whole game .” Brumfield himself candidly admits that “psych ” was and still is an importan t part of his game . “I like to win more than anything else. If a guy got in my way , I’d give him the waffle face , nudge him with the racquet or trip him a little or just casu – ally bump him. Make him worry a little about me and maybe throw his concentration off just enough to give me an edge. Now , that I’ve won the title, I’m much more concerned with my opponent . I think my problem was immaturity and inability to adapt to different situations on the court . In essence, I psyched myself out . Whenever I can keep may mind on the game and concentrate , I usually have very few problems .” Admittedly , Charlie ‘s old image and approach to the game has changed . He ‘s st ill part show-biz out there but he can get away with that stuff because now he’s recognized as one of the most ded icated , hardworking and intelligent players in the sport. And when it came down to the tournamen t itself , this analysis was pretty accurate . Brumfield opened wi th 18 year-old Jerry Hilecher from St. Louis. Charlie dropped the first six po ints and then gave Jerry seven more but he beat him easily anyway 21-13 . He tested his younger opponent. Knowing Jerry would come out fast and strong , shooting everything. Before the second game, Charlie Drake, another San Diegan participant predicted : ” Good shooters don ‘t win here . Everyone here ‘s a good shooter . This is a control game . Watch Brum clean this guy .” And , indeed , as Hilecher tired, he began making · mistakes a young , impatient kid would make and soon folded. Charlie ran him around , letting Jerry tire himself out , gave him the ” tour ” and put him away aga in. Calm , poised and in complete cont ro I, Brumfield hardly seemed winded . In his next match , Charlie faced Bob MacNamara who , though physically stronger than Brumfield was just out-maneuvered. In the first, show himself the fac ilities , priming ” Mac ” got 10 but couldn ‘t get court position as Charlie moved him back and forth, from side to side and corner to corner wth ceiling balls and passes. Demoralized , MacNamara could muster only two points in the

2nd game . Two-straight, again. Then , in the sem i-final round , Brumfield met ” Super-Jew ” Mike Zeitman , whose game has been so sharp up unt il now that he ‘d wiped both Schmidtke and Keeley . But, somehow , came that inconsistency (was it Zeitman or was it jus t the ” psych ” of p laying Brumfield ?). Mike ‘s game was flat and , again , Ch arlie contro lled the tempo taking , the usually excit ing Zeitman , 21-10 , 21-6 . Meanwh ile, in the ot her bracket young Steve Serot was subduing his opponent s, Dra ke , Garfinkel and Ke n Porco , with his famous k ill game Serot was really “on .” But in the final , Brumfield ‘s p red ict ions regarding “e rro rs” came to mind as Serot began by blasting away but missing spots . W ith Cha rlie cover – ing t he kills , Serot neded someth ing else but cou ldn ‘t find it. He just didn ‘t have those 21 kil l shots to bea t ” the Brum .” Not up to the pace that Charlie ‘s ” tour ” sustained , the kid ‘s ” dynamite ·· was a dud . In all of 21 m inutes , Brumfield effortless ly cleaned Serot’s clock , 21-6 , 21-6 and that was tha t. It all looked so easy , maybe it rea ll y was the ” Brumf ield Inv itational ” af t er all . When interviewed later , Brumfield candidly snapped: “I got Serot beat for the next three years. ” When the gear got packed and the only sounds were the interm itent wh ispers that twittered off the court w alls , you could s it back and wo nde r just what would happen in the next year . Between now and then-Ruby would get himself another tan , maybe even another permanent ; Garfinkel would try to th ink up another shot like the ” underdog ,” ” Super Jew ” would merchurochrome his rasbe rries ; the ” Wild Bill ” wou ld get some R. and R. ; Keeley would begin taking notes for the new book of ancedotes he is compil ing : ” Boy Wonder ” would spend the time sacrificing his teenage pangs and pleasures , sweating on his father ‘s old courts, getting his shots down for Brumfield aga in; and Brum , well he ‘d probably get there early and for the time when he ‘d bring these guys the St. Louis blues with another and another real good tour of the court .

Originally published in National Racquetball, September 1973, pp. 30–34. By Alan and Michael Steinberg.