Zero . None . 0 . Zip . Anyway you look at it nothing can be worse than ” scoring ” no points in a racquetball game . Except perhaps , scoring none in two gam es . However , there is much to learn when on the short end of the 21-0 tally , at least that is what losers say And so when it happened to this reporter the immedi ate thought s were transferred to print. I’ll set the circumstances for you. There ‘s this guy from Chicago named Ron Rubenstein . Not a bad player . Hits the ball nice , pretty fair backhand, does well in tournaments now and then . Happens to be one of the top eight players in the nation. The nation, hell , the whole world!. Well , we ‘re five days from the Illinois State doubles tournament so Rubenstein is playing a fair amount of doubles this time of year . Has to defend that title , you know . Me? Well , there ‘s no title to defend , but I too am aim ing for the Illinois State doubles , so recently I find myself on the court with three others instead of just one . It’s Monday night , the weekly nocturnal competition in the Chicagoland Racquetball League . My facility , the Bernard Horwich J .C.C . is hosting the Symons Y.M.C .A. from the Northwest side . Rubenstein plays for Symons . His partner this night is Sam Rizzio, a crafty old ex-hand – baller with the deceiving handball belly and quickness that belies his age . I play for Horwich . So does Ron Solomon , my partner . We ‘re tuning up (or down) for the doubles tourney and the lineup for this Monday night reads Doubles : Leve-Solomon vs . Rubenstein-Rizzio . I’m feeling ill. Solomon can’t talk . He opens his mouth, but words don ‘t come out. 28

I might add at this point that the Lev e-S olomon team is probably the best tandem at Horw ich , at leas t we’ve never lost as a team to my recollection . In fact , we ‘v e got the guy s around the Health Club thin k- . ing that we ‘re actually pretty good players . Oh sure, maybe not a Rubenstein (of whom they had heard but never seen), but not too much worse either . Ha . Me . I know better . I lose to guys Rubenste in shu ts out . Now , where does that leave me ? I know , up the cre ek w ithout a paddle , or racquet. It’s e ight o ‘clock , we ‘re on the court warming up , Ruby and Rizz io are st ill in the loc ker room . Check the clock , they ‘ve only got 20 minute s be fore a forfeit. It’s now 8 :06 and the favorites enter th e court to the low murmur ing of the packed crowd . My hands turn to ice. I’m beginning to tense up . Rubenste in, who I’ll be playing on the left (we ‘re both righthanded) is taking that smooth stroke he is well known for as he warms up . Then the thought strikes me: There is no way we can win . C’mon Chuck , don ‘t think negatively . Didn’t Charlie Brumfield always tell you never to fear losing? But what does the Brumfield school of racquetball say about annihiliation? “They don ‘t look so tough ,” says Solomon. ” We’ll do all right .” “Okay, ” I said , while thinking how Rubenstein can make shots in tournaments that I can ‘t make while practicing alone . Forget it, get it out of your mind, Leve . Just play the game . You’ll do all right. The time is now . Coin toss, oops no coin. Visitors serve first I offered . Solomon almost passed out. “Hey,

you id iot, what are ya trying to do ? We may never ge t the serv e ba ck.” Ta lk abou t con fidence . “Look Solly, that means we ‘ll get to serve the sec ond g ame, so all will be fair . You do n ‘t think it’ll go three do you?” “Nah,” he sa ys . ” We shou ld win in two .” Ever call a tim e out befor e the match? . We ‘ re re ady to go . Rub enst ein serves first , a Garfinkel to Solomon who prompt ly goes cro ss court to the ce iling . Atta boy, Ronny , jus t like we planned . Rubenstein killed left side wa llfront wa ll . 1-0. “Forge t it,” I sa id. “He can ‘t make those all night . Horrible percentage shot. The odds ‘// catch up to him .” Another Garfinkel , this time Solly misses the ceiling and here comes a backwall shot to Rizzio . Kill , dead , right corner. Solomon ‘s caugh t behind Sam and I can ‘t cover . 2-0 . “It’s still early ,” I thought. “Jus t relax , the shots ‘// come. ” They did , all from the other guys . At 4-0 we gained the serve when Solomon killed right in the center of front court , and deftly stepped in front of Rizzio , wh ile I sc reened Rubenstein . They let us have it. Solomon served first , a hard-h it cross court to Rizzio , who put it up to the ce iling driving me into deep left court . I returned with a ceil ing hoping I could get it cross court back to Sam . No such luck . It cam e down at mid court at the short line and Rubenstein killed in the left corner . I too served a Garfinkel to Rizzio , who again hit a beaut ifu l c ei ling cross court, driving me back . Thi s time my return never made the front wall . Side out. Well , the game continued on this plane . The next time we salvaged the serve it was at 11-0 and I thanked the heavens we were playTo pa ge 29

ing racquetball , not table tennis where 11-0 is a shut out. ‘ . At 15-0 I felt we would really do It. Solomon served , surprisingly to Rubenstein whose return left me with a backhand set up. “This is it ” I thought. ” We finally break the ice’.” I skipped it in,- at the short line . It might have been a turning point. We had the shot , and I just missed it. Things like that happen . But I was conf ident. ” We’ve got ’em now, ” I announced loud enough for the crowd to hear . “We’ve found their weakness .” The next rally was beautiful. Solomon kept Rizzio off balance with hard drives down the right and I countered with good ceiling balls to the right , effectively keeping Rubenstein out of the play, while attemp ting to give Solly his forehand right corner kill in front of Sam. We got the shot but Ron left it up , Rubenste in covered and hit backhand Z ball. I frantically raced back , around and over , crossed my legs, lost my balance , swung and missed . Side out. It was all downhill from there . I know, I know, you thought we were already at bottom. Well , there was one more blaze of glory . At 20-0 we put out R izzio . I looked over at Solomon, he looked at me . ” This is it, ” I said. ”This is it,” he said . “Let’s make ’em earn it,” we both said. The serve came to me . I backhanded effectively cross court to Rizzio . His attempt at a ceiling was off mark and the ball came off the backwall. Solomon set up , raised his ferocious forehand and shot for the right corner. It was close , but the ball skipped. “Good shot, ” I yelled , grabbing the ball and walk ing in to serve . It was our last hope-<leceit. “Skip ball, ” bellowed the referee , some handba ller we had kicked off the court for our match . And that was that. The ultimate embarassment was ours . It mattered little that we actually scored five points in the second game. Those that had witnessed the match will only remember one thing, from that gloomy night on . Zero . None . 0. Zip . 29

Originally published in National Racquetball, September 1973, pp. 28–29. By Chuck Leve.